53 Investments That Offer A Better Return Than A College Degree

53-investments-that-offer-a-better-return-than-a-college-degree

53-investments-that-offer-a-better-return-than-a-college-degree

Brought to you by: Praxis

In case you haven’t heard, college is expensive these days – and despite what many people think, a college degree isn’t an automatic pathway to success and wealth. In reality, there is a long list of ways to invest your money that can provide a better return!

The Babylon Bee is here to prove it with the following comprehensive list of investments that offer a better return than a college degree:

  1. A Red Lobster franchise

  2. Hunter Biden paintings

  3. A car that is currently on fire and driving off a cliff

  4. An iPod Shuffle

  5. A big ol’ pile of dirt

  6. Joe Biden collectible NFTs

  7. VCR (that’s a videocassette recorder for your Gen Zers)

  8. DogeCoin (that’s imaginary money with a dog on it for you boomers)

  9. MySpace stock

  10. Pogo stick lessons

  11. Whatever currency they use in Venezuela

  12. A 401k at Enron

  13. America Online CDs

  14. Oakland A’s season tickets

  15. Rose Tico action figures

  16. That pier Biden built in Gaza

  17. Pogs

  18. A motorhome currently floating down a river

  19. A chain of steakhouses over in India

  20. Kristi Noem’s Pet Resort

  21. The exiled Nigerian prince who emailed you asking for financial help

  22. CNN+ subscription

  23. COVID-19 vaccines

  24. Nickelback lunchboxes

  25. Sam Bankman-Fried’s next cryptocurrency enterprise

  26. Coupons for free games of bowling at Boo-Boo Bowlers

  27. Women’s razor store in Portland

  28. Cabbage Patch dolls

  29. WNBA trading cards

  30. Beanie Babies

  31. A wind farm on the moon

  32. All-you-can-eat buffet restaurant next door to Lizzo

  33. Blackberry phones

  34. Vacation timeshare in Gaza

  35. Cicada farm

  36. Future seasons of Amazon Prime’s Rings of Power

  37. Actual snake oil

  38. Tupperware

  39. Joe Biden’s “How to Walk Like a Winner” instructional video course

  40. Blocks of ice

  41. A beachfront property in Kansas

  42. A high-end jewelry store in downtown Oakland

  43. Pretend pirate money from the Dollar Store

  44. A parlay on New York Jets to win Super Bowl and Chicago White Sox to win World Series

  45. Collectible Harry Potter Pez dispensers

  46. Raw oysters

  47. Liquor store in rural Utah

  48. MAGA baseball cap stand at the Democratic National Convention

  49. Your sister-in-law’s essential oil business

  50. Big & Tall clothing store in Cambodia

  51. Angel Hernandez Umpire School

  52. Hush money payment to Stormy Daniels

  53. A subscription to The Babylon Bee!

Pour your money into any (or all) of the investments listed above, and you’re guaranteed to get a better return than spending money on a college degree. Pick a few from the list to make sure you diversify!


NOT SATIRE: Unsure what to do after high school? Praxis can help.

Over the past decade, our team at Praxis has helped hundreds of young adults start their careers, build skills, grow their networks, navigate their job hunts, and develop a roadmap for their futures.

We know what it takes to succeed without college, and we’d like to share this knowledge with you and your family. Because we think it’s important you’re aware of your options. Especially considering the cost of college and average outcomes for graduates today.

That’s why we created 5 Tips for Opting Out of College Successfully: A Short Course in Winning the Early Innings of Your Career Without A Degree.

It’s a 45-minute workshop jam-packed with tips and exercises to help your teen or young adult gain career clarity, learn how to create value, grow his or her network, and achieve career success – even if they don’t go to college.

You can access the full workshop for free by following this link.


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The post 53 Investments That Offer A Better Return Than A College Degree appeared first on Conservative News The Right Choice.

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